Carmen Gill, a professor at the University of New Brunswick, told the Globe and Mail, that coercive control can be boiled down to power games. "It's gaslighting," he said, "lies, blaming, cruelty, intimidation — all those things that we don't necessarily recognize as a form of violence." These behaviors can leave victims feeling shame and guilt, which Women's Law explains are feelings that can keep a victim trapped inside an abuse cycle. Often, victims not only stay believing they can change the abuser, but they internalize the idea that they deserve how they're treated.
But unlike physical violence, psychological and emotional violence doesn't leave bruises or broken bones. Laura Richards, who has worked on countless cases of domestic violence, told The List that the victims she's talked to say the "psychological damage and harm stays with you forever." She adds that many victims also "question what is real and what is not," finding it difficult to trust their own perception of reality — one that used to be in constant conflict with what their abuser wanted them to live in.
While there might not be bruising or broken bones, PsychCentral points out that many victims of emotional abuse do report physical symptoms, like chronic body aches or heart palpitations. In future relationships, victims may be prone to a simultaneous need for codependency and fear of abandonment, especially in situations where distance and the silent treatment were used as "punishment" for victims.
